Someone Like Me
by Crysie
Summary: Takes place when Yolei refused to go to the Digital World with the others. Why? And what does Matt have to do with it? It has slight hintings of Taito/Yamachi


Disclaimer: I don't own digimon, unfortuntely  
  
This was originally going to be a lemon, but I decided to change it to one of those cool friendship talks. I don't know why, but I didn't feel like writing a lemon between Matt and a character I dislike.  
  
  
Someone Like Me  
By Crysie  
  
  
  
It killed me to watch them go through the gate into the Digital World. I watched each one disappear within a flash, and not a moment slower. But it was heartbreaking. Why?  
  
Because I let them down. I should have helped, should have done something to save Agumon. But did I? No. Instead, I basically told the others I didn't want to help a fellow Digidestined save his digimon. I basically told them I was a coward.  
  
I must be, a coward that is. I shouldn't be, but then again I am not the Keeper of Courage. So maybe I'm being too hard on myself. No. No, I'm not being too hard on myself. If I was, I would probably end up going into the Digital World anyway. But then again, I was never a person to do something out of guilt. After all, if I were to tell someone that Yolei Inoue did something out of guilt, they would laugh. Yes, that's me all right. I do everything for me, which seems selfish, but it really isn't.  
  
So why couldn't I have helped Tai and the others for a good fight? A good way to teach the Digimon Emperor a lesson? I'm not sure, that's what's so confusing.   
  
Or why couldn't I have just gone to be a good person? I always wanted to be so much like Mimi, but I can't be if I'm not willing to help others sometimes. I supposedly deserve the Digi-egg of Sincerity, at least that's what Mimi said. But why aren't I being kind or sincere? And then there's the matter of having the Digi-egg of Love. Now that was crazy. Or maybe not. Maybe if people looked at me from another viewpoint, they'd see the real me. I've always been loving towards the ones I care about, especially my family and friends.  
  
So why didn't I go with them today? What if I were in that situation? I've never been there or done that, meanwhile the original Digidestined all have, and they always keep fighting, even though there's us three new ones who are willing to take over.  
  
Willing? Okay, so maybe not. Maybe it's more of a have to sort of thing. After all, I didn't choose to be a Digidestined. If I had the right to chose, I wouldn't want to be one. Don't get me wrong, I love the partner it comes with. It's a special friendship that you only get when you're a Digdestined, and I'm eternally grateful for it. But I hate the responsibilities that follow. Saving the world just wasn't on my to do list for the eighth grade. Maybe it was on Kari and T.K.'s list because they saved the world when they were just young kids and were used to it, but for me, it just wasn't something I planned.   
  
Maybe I resent the job because I wasn't planning to do it. Maybe that's why I couldn't be bothered to rescue Agumon. But then there's that guilt that made me ask Izzy to help. So he told me to tell the others that Railtown was the town they were looking for. And that's what I did: told them. And then I left, only to find myself walking the streets.  
  
I glanced around for the first time, noticing the happy children who running free and wild, not having a care in the world. I was envious, rage burning inside me. But then it subsided because I thought of T.K., Kari, Tai, and the Original Digidestined who all had to gather their wits as children and fight off digimon. It must have been hard. But I couldn't be bothered by them. I love them as my friends, but that was their problem not mine. I shouldn't worry.  
  
I suddenly remembered what my actual reason was for being outside, instead of in the computer room with Izzy. I was supposed to be searching for other Digidestined. Izzy sent me to do that.  
  
I began to look around, tying to locate where I was. I knew this neighborhood. It was where Kari and Tai lived, and I also knew Matt lived in the apartment building across the street.   
  
As I made my way towards the apartment building, I spotted Matt ahead and began to call out his name. He turned his head, smiling, but with the panic in my voice, he knew something was wrong.  
  
Hey Yolei. What's going on?  
  
Agumon was captured by Ken. Tai's there now, but they need help. Izzy sent me to search for other Digidestined.  
  
Matt nodded in understanding. Let me put away my bag and I'll be right with you.  
  
**~**  
  
We began our way back to the school in utter silence. We were almost half way there when Matt spoke.  
  
So, why aren't you in the Digital World today?  
  
Do I always have to go save the world? I snapped.  
  
No, but being a Digidestined gives you the privilege––  
  
Privilege? If I had it my way, I wouldn't be a Digidestined.  
  
Since when did you begin hating the fact we are Digidestined? Every time I've seen you, you've been really... eccentric about going to the Digital World.  
  
I hate having to be pressured into helping my friends. I always feel like I have to help someone, and I hate that!  
  
Matt gave me a sympathetic look. Yolei, sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do. It's a part of life. Believe me when I say that.  
  
  
  
It's just something I've dealt with, that's all. Matt paused, turning towards me. Have you ever felt... trapped into doing something you really don't want to do?  
  
We began walking again.   
That's what I'm talking about, aren't I?  
  
Yeah. Let's just say that sometimes I wish things could be different.  
  
Like how? I knew that was a stupid question. Like the oh-so-cool Matt would ever tell me anything personal.  
  
Like the person I'm in love with. I like two people, but I love one person more than anything.  
  
Who? Mimi? Or Sora? Oh, you like Sora, but are in love with Mimi, right? And you can't be with Mimi because she lives in America.  
  
You couldn't be more wrong, Yolei. The person I'm in love with... let's just say that people who'd put that kind of love down.  
  
I quickened my pace to keep up with Matt's, because with each sentence that came from his mouth, he moved more quickly.  
  
Never mind.  
  
Are you in love with a... a guy? The words came popping out of my mouth before I could stop them.  
  
Matt turned to me, his eyes were ice cold. Kari wasn't kidding when she told me how icy Matt's eyes became when he was defensive. He seemed to be fighting with himself to say something, but nothing came out, not for a few minutes, anyway.  
  
  
  
That didn't sound very convincing to me, and me being the blunt one _had _to press on the issue. Who is it? One of your band members?  
  
Matt had a distorted impression on his face. Eww, God no. They are... are my band. I never thought of them like that. Besides, I said that I was kidding.  
  
No you didn't. I don't believe a word you are saying.  
  
What is this sudden interest in me?  
  
Well, you seem to be feeling similar emotions as me, so I want to hear what you've got to say.  
  
No way, I'm not saying anything else. If you want a hint to who I have my eyes on... it's Sora.  
  
But you don't love her.  
  
Yes I do, snapped Matt. His eyes softened and said, Come on, let's go. We better get to rescuing Agumon.  
  
I sighed. Okay. Hey, wait up.  
  
**~**  
  
So there we were, standing in the train cart as we moved into the direction of Tai and the others. Matt had his gaze on the scenery, seeming to be in deep thought. Not like that was a surprise. I was too. I couldn't help but think of our conversation before.   
  
Somebody actually understands. I'm not alone. I'm not the only one who wishes things could be different. So maybe Matt doesn't wish not to be a Digidestined, at least he wishes something, even if it is about someone he's in love with, but for some odd reason is supposedly to be in love with her - or him.  
  
As we pulled into view of the other Digidestined, I quickly looked at Matt who had his eyes focused directly at Tai, concern filling them. Could he be in love with Tai? No.   
  
No way.  
  
  
THE END  
  



End file.
